2017 GOALS MUST BE REALISTIC

BE REALISTIC

We all have dreams and desires. Some of these dreams are bigger and bolder than others while some of our desires are merely things that we want in order to satisfy a lifestyle. We know that there is a huge difference between a need and a want; a need is something you have to acquire usually on a constant basis for survival, for example food, clothing, and a roof over your head. A want, on the other hand, is something is nice to have like a new car, a new phone, or beautiful furniture but is essentially something that is not necessary for survival.

The aspect of needs is also parallel to the realistic achievement of goals. In order to get what you want you have to be able to get what you need. If this sounds strange or a reversal of the normal explanation, bear with me as I explain more.

To some people, the realization of a goal is a psychological need necessary to become whole - that is, without achieving the desired goal, they are incomplete just as if they had food to prepare to eat but no way to cook it. One is a necessary completion of the other.

Remember Failures are made only by those who fail to dare, not by those who dare to fail.

Now, on the other hand, there are goals that one would like to accomplish but some of these goals cannot be attained without first making it to a sub-level, This means that one must be realistic about achieving goals. But, this does not mean you shouldn't set a very high goal. 

It means that certain steps must be attained first before you can set out to the next step on the ladder to the final accomplishment. For example, I know a young man who really needed to feel that he was helping others and his goal was to become a doctor. However, as he started university, he realized that he could not bear to accumulate the debt that completing his medical degree would cost. I spoke with his father just a couple of days ago, and he told him he was considering revising his goal to become a doctor but not revising his goal to help people in a professional way. So, he desire to be a doctor was reinterpreted to help others by becoming a speech therapist. 

What did he accomplish? For one thing, his goal destination was altered but his need wasn't. Secondly, he was being realistic. He knew he really couldn't afford the accumulated debt on his pathway to becoming a doctor, but he could afford to become a speech therapist. 

Be sure that, Not all goals can be accomplished in the coming year 2017 but that doesn't mean you should not set out to accomplish what you need, and know this, that there is a difference between a 'need' goal and a 'want' goal. 

In the process of attaining a goal, there is something that you should also bear in mind. And, that is not to be totally consumed by your goal achievement to the point where all other aspects of life take a back seat. This means that your life is not meant to be solely dedicated to reaching your goal without enjoying the trip or taking side trips.

The aspect of taking side trips means that you do not dedicate all of your available time just to work on your goal. It means that, instead, you take the time to enjoy aspects of life that are goal-oriented.

For example, give yourself permission to take a break once a week to do something totally different like going out with your friends, or taking a long brisk walk through the beach, or a picnic for the afternoon with your partner or children. 

You cannot dedicate every waking moment to accomplishing a dream because to do so means that you will never recharge your batteries, and will compound your stress levels for lack of relaxing moments.

2017 is your Year and you must Prosper and enjoy Life. You are more Precious to succeed and ten times better.

2017 #SeeYouOnTop

THERE IS MUCH TO LEARN FROM EACH PERSON

THE BIGGEST PACKAGE

It is always interesting and revealing to observe human behavior and some behavior seems to be true to form more often than not. In the past years, we have always held a Christmas gift exchange at out house with at least ten of our family. Each year, we all buy gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. When everyone is sitting around a circle, all the gifts are piled in the middle of the floor. 

People choose a number from a bowl that tells him or her when they can take their turn to choose any gift. The person with the number one can choose any gift and thereafter, each person takes his or her turn. Before they choose a gift, they have the option of taking the gift from the former person. At the end when all numbers have taken or chosen a gift, the person-holding number one can then take a gift away from any other person.

What is always interesting is watching each person as they choose a gift. What happens next usually happens more often than not. The biggest gift always gets chosen first. It is never the smallest gift, nor is it the fanciest gift-wrapping. What does this tell us about most human behavior?

Is the biggest always the best or worth the most? Is it that we think that something small is not worth as much or cannot live up to our expectations? 

Human beings, in fact, come in all sorts of packaging and sizes where some are bigger, some smaller; some dressed eloquently, some dressed poorly. Behind every human trapping though lie unforeseen characteristics, talents, desires, hurts and pains and dreams. 

Now "Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities."

Some of what we so often do is to under evaluate the potential of people who do not fit within our preconceived definition of what is normal or what we view as matching our expectations. It is similar to evaluating the choice of a gift where are previous experiences, desires, or wants far exceeding our current capacity to see beyond what is visually obvious.

The preconceptions that have formed our view of life can be limiting to the point where we are guilty of prejudging everyone we should happen to meet whether in a work situation or in our own personal lives. 

The real challenge for all of us is to expand our own capacities to see beyond what our previous prejudices allow us to see. This means that we need to open our minds to the fullness of each person; their opinions, their attributes; their potential. 

There is much to learn from each person we meet through life. There is also the opportunity to learn, to give, to share, to help, to inform. 

After all, we grow as people the more we destroy our current narrow views, and give ourselves permission to be challenged, to be wrong, to be humble, to accept that differences are neither bad nor good.

WHAT KINDNESS CAN DO WITH YOU

A LITTLE BIT OF KINDNESS

There are times in our life when we don't take action because we feel the act of kindness is too little, that it wouldn't make a difference. However, sometimes the smallest gesture can make a huge impact on someone's life. There are many different ways we can show kindness to others, and it doesn't have to be in a big way.

The simplest of things may make the difference. A smile, a door being held open, a handwritten note, a kind word, the list can go on and on.

I was recently reading some of emails I receive from my friends and came across the story of The Lion and The Mouse. While this story has been around for a long time sent by one friend, it still has wisdom in its words.

This is the story:

One day a Lion was asleep when a little Mouse began running up and down his back; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him.

"Please don't," cried the little Mouse: "forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but what I may be able to do you a turn some of these days?"

The Lion was so tickled at the idea of the Mouse being able to help him that he lifted up his paw and let him go.

Some time after the Lion was caught in a trap, he pulled with all his might, but the ropes were too strong. Just then the little Mouse happened to pass by, and seeing the sad plight, in which the Lion was, went up to him, and with his sharp little teeth gnawed away the ropes, setting the Lion free.

"You once laughed at me," said the mouse. You thought I was too little to do you a good turn. But see, you owe your life to a poor little mouse." End if the story

While you may think the story is far fetched, the point I found in reading the story is not the size of the action that is important, but the difference that a small action made. Small acts of kindness makes a difference in ways you may not realize!

Do you have opportunities to give small acts of kindness? Some people might think that they do not have a chance to show another person a small measure of kindness but these opportunities are everywhere you go through the day.

For example, if you ride on a bus, have you ever said good morning to the bus driver or do you just ignore him or her and proceed to your seat? A simple good morning or good afternoon tells the person that you acknowledge them and it is even an acknowledgement that can help to brighten a day.

If you drive a car anywhere, do you let someone enter into to traffic or do you just keep driving inching along and ignoring the other driver? Stop and wave the other driver into traffic ahead of you is a small gesture of kindness that may influence this driver to do the same for someone else later.

When you go to the supermarket or store, do you hold the door open for a young woman holding her baby or do you just dart ahead through the door without stopping? 

When you are at work or classroom, do you say good morning to your colleagues or do you just go about your business without acknowledging their presence?

Or, how about those people you meet on the street that ask for money or who are peddling various goods? Do you ignore them, or give them no acknowledgement that they are also human and have feelings?

In democratic ages men rarely sacrifice themselves for another, but they show a general compassion for all the human race. One never sees them inflict pointless suffering, and they are glad to relieve the sorrows of others when they can do so without much trouble to themselves. They are not disinterested, but they are gentle.

If you were busy being kind, Before you knew it, you would find soon forget to think it was true that someone was unkind to you and If you were busy being glad, And cheering people who are sad, Although your heart might ache a bit, You'd soon forget to notice it..Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.

DO NOT LIMIT YOURSELF

BUT WHAT ABOUT SNAGS .

My parents, teachers and good friends were always encouraging me to set goals and work hard to achieve them. They would tell me not to be a follower and not to set limits on what I could achieve. They truly believed that there were no limits that you could achieve whatever you wanted. 

One of my friend once told me the following story about a radish and a milk bottle, it was a story that I have never forgotten. 

A Farmer's Lesson In Life 

A farmer won a first prize at the country fair for his huge radish that was the exact shape and size of a quart of milk bottle. Many were curious as to how the farmer was able to grow this radish that was the exact shape of a milk bottle.

Finally one gentleman went up to the farmer and asked the question. The farmer replied, "It was easy. I got the seed growing and then I put it into the milk bottle. It had nowhere else to go." 

You can use this story as an analogy to life - our lives are shaped by the kind of surroundings we place ourselves in, the people that we allow to influence us, and the goals we give ourselves.

THESE ARE KEY INGREDIENTS 

If we only dream and take no action then we get no further. But if we plan, set a goal and take action then our life takes a different shape.

Now, the important parts of goal setting, though, go way beyond just writing down a goal statement and thinking that somehow your goal will be reached. 

To write a goal is only a minor part of the way forward. The rest of the elements of how to reach that goal must also be stated clearly and with a definite time frame to each step. 

This means that you must develop a detailed plan of action where each action step is detailed on what you must do, when and how and how much time it will take. If you do not make your plan detailed in this way and set specific target dates for completion, you will simply not be creating any kind of expectation in your mind or urgency that helps keep you moving. 

But what about The Bumps Along The Path . . .??? This is the question that a person can ask!

Sometimes, even when you are following your action plan, you will run into a snag. Snags are not uncommon and you should realize this before you even get started. 

These snags, though, should be viewed only as little inconveniences; these inconveniences are meant for you to resolve and move forward again. 

These little problems are those that most people cannot overcome because they simply quit using the excuse that their goal was never meant to be. 

Show that you are different; show that you have the dedication and resolve to keep going and you will demonstrate to yourself and everyone around you that you are really dedicated to accomplishing that which you have set out in your goal statement. 

Do Not Go It Alone 

The fact that you know that there will always be minor roadblocks; it is also wise to solicit the guidance and help of a mentor. 

This mentor is a person who has a positive attitude, is very skilled at always looking and finding solutions to issues and problems, and may also be someone who has experienced similar issues along their way to accomplishing their own goals.

Know that, Goals and actions can help us accomplish more in a year than what some people will accomplish in a lifetime. 

To prove this point read the biographies of successful people and you will see that goals and actions did in fact play a big role in their success. 

Now Reuben Koikai says, "don't put yourself in a bottle; in other words move out of what is comfortable and secure if you want to move forward."

BE INNOVATIVE

WHAT INNOVATION CAN DO TO YOUR LIFE

It is a talent that everyone has, yet they think they don't. The power of innovation. If you have ever marveled at somebody's creative prowess, guess what, you can create and innovate too. It just takes time. Everyone is born creative. The truth is, everybody has potential.

You know how long it took to learn to ride a bike or drive or to never commit the same mistake again? It's the same with innovation. It takes a bit of practice and a lot of time before this mind function comes easily when called. Today Koikai is writing this article that will teach you a few tips on how to bring innovation into your life.

DON'T LISTEN TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY. Follow the beat of your own drum. Allowing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don't waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. They won't. And the help you will probably get comes in the form of negative feedback. If all those geniuses listened to their peers, we would probably still be living in the middle ages.

SPEND TIME ON IT. I cannot stress that enough, although, please do not mistake this point to tell you to quit your day job, or school entirely. Do not. This involves some tricky time management but with a little discipline you'll be able to squeeze both in.

RECORD YOUR DREAMS. Aren't some of them just the craziest things that your conscious mind would never have thought of? If you have had these dreams before, and I'm sure have, this only shows you the untapped innovative power you have lying within. So jot down those notes. Those dreams may just create an innovative spark in you.

FIND YOUR OWN STYLE. You'll know people wrote something by the choice of words on the paper. So it is the same with you. People will appreciate your innovation more because it is uniquely yours and that no one else would have thought of what you were thinking. That will let people see how valuable an asset you are.

DON'T HIDE BEHIND NIFTY GADGETS OR TOOLS. You don't need the most expensive set of paints to produce a masterpiece. The same way with writing. You don't need some expensive fountain pen and really smooth paper for a bestseller. In fact, J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter Series on bits of tissue. So what if you've got an expensive SLR camera if you're a crappy photographer? Who cares if you've got a blinging laptop if you can't write at all? The artist actually reduces the number of tools he has as he gets better at his craft: he knows what works and what doesn't.

NOTHING WILL WORK WITHOUT PASSION. What wakes you up in the mornings? What keeps the flame burning? What is the one thing that you'll die if you don't do? Sometimes people with talent are overtaken by the people who want it more. Think the hare and the tortoise. One of the writers once said that "if you're not doing something that you want to do, then you don't really want to do it." And that's true. Sometimes you just want something so bad you become a virtual unstoppable. And that is passion. Passion will keep you going.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT INSPIRATION. You can't force it; inspiration hits when you least expect it to, for those unpredictable yet inevitable moments you should prepare. An idea could strike you on the subway, yet alas, you poor unfortunate soul; you have no sheet of paper to scribble down a thought that could change the world. Avoid these disasters. Have a pen and paper within your arm's reach at all times.

I hope this article will help you bring more innovation into your life. Keep in mind that you're doing these things for your own satisfaction and not anybody else's. But soon enough they will notice, and everything should snowball from there.

ITS ENOUGH.

HOW TO END PROCRASTINATION

Many of us fear taking action. We love making lists, forming plans and learning new techniques but when it comes to putting it all into motion, we freeze. We procrastinate. We hesitate. We find excuses not to work on our goals anymore.

Or, we do take action, but not on the important stuff. Oh no, we do more research, we refine our plans, we keep ourselves very busy so it seems like we are taking action, but we are actually just killing time.

The most common reason for this fear (besides the ones we have covered so far: fear of success, low self-worth, worries about what others will think, etc.) may surprise you: FEAR OF COMMITMENT.

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.

We are afraid that once we begin moving forward we will be officially locked into our goal and we are suddenly forced to sink or swim! If we can simply avoid taking action, we can remain safely in the planning stage and not risk anything. We can convince ourselves that we did all we could, but it just didn’t work out, there were circumstances beyond our control - so it’s not OUR FAULT that we are not successful.

There is also another possibility, another reason why taking action seems so hard: sheer intimidation. This fear is often greatly reduced by setting reasonable goals, but we can also be irrationally fearful about moving forward even if our goals seem manageable.

The most effective way to deal with a fear of taking action is to simply disregard it and take action anyway!

That sounds like an impossible challenge if you are feeling paralyzed by fear, but I do have a bit of advice that should make you feel better. The fear of taking action almost ALWAYS vanishes shortly after you begin moving forward. You suddenly realize that you were worrying over nothing, and you actually begin to enjoy making progress. If you keep with it long enough and frequently enough, exhilaration takes over and you find you can’t hold yourself back any longer. What a wonderful feeling that is!

If you absolutely feel terrified about taking action, take some time to look over your plans and come up with one SMALL action step that you can take immediately. JUST ONE! Then take it. Then pick another small action step, and take that one too.

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool, To weep is to risk appearing sentimental, To reach out to another is to risk involvement, To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self, To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss, To love is to risk not being loved in return, To hope is to risk despair, To try is to risk to failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, But he can not learn, feel, change, grow or live. Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom. Only a person who risks is free. Its Enough... Lets end procrastination.

SHOULD I REALLY CHANGE?

WHAT REALLY MAKES YOU TICK?

Be all you can be, what you want to be really matters. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks or can they?

1. WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?

The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. SHOULD I REALLY CHANGE?

Today's generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?

If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. WHAT'S THE BRIGHT SIDE IN ALL OF THIS?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. AM I COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT I'M DOING?

There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. HAVE I DONE ENOUGH FOR MYSELF?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. AM I HAPPY AT WHERE I AM TODAY?

It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad or friend or brother or mentor or leader to your kids and your society then take it up a notch! Your kids and all people in your cycle will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. AM I APPEALING TO THE OPPOSITE SEX?

So may be I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. HOW MUCH COULD I HAVE?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. WHAT MOTIVATES ME?

What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. WHAT REALLY MAKES YOU TICK? SO?

What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that you really want.