CHANGE THE OLD AND NEGATIVE HABIT. BUILD NEW AND POSITIVE HABIT.

HABIT is a force which is generally recognized by the average thinking person, but which is commonly viewed in its adverse aspect to the exclusion of its favorable phase. It has been well said that all men are "The creatures of habit," and that "Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and it becomes so strong that we cannot break it." But the above quotations only serve to emphasize that side of the question in which men are shown as the slaves of habit, suffering from its confining bonds.

If it be true that Habit becomes a cruel tyrant ruling and compelling men against their will, desire, and inclination, and this is true in many cases, the question naturally arises in the thinking mind whether this mighty force cannot be harnessed and controlled in the service of man, just as have other forces of Nature. If this result can be accomplished, the man may master Habit and set it to work, instead of being a slave to it and serving it faithfully though complainingly. And the modern psychologists tell us in no uncertain tones that Habit may certainly be thus mastered, harnessed and set to work, instead of being allowed to dominate one's actions and character. And thousands of people have applied this new knowledge and have turned the force of Habit into new channels, and have compelled it to work their machinery of action, instead of being allowed to run to waste, or else permitted to sweep away the structures that men have erected with care and expense, or to destroy fertile mental fields.

According to me, A habit is a "mental path" over which our actions have traveled for some time, each passing making the path a little deeper and a little wider. If you have to walk over a field or through a forest, you know how natural it is for you to choose the clearest path in preference to the less worn ones, and greatly in preference to stepping out across the field or through the woods and making a new path. And the line of mental action is precisely the same. It is movement along the lines of the least resistance, passage over the well-worn path. Habits are created by repetition and are formed in accordance to a natural law, observable in all animate things and some would say in inanimate things as well. As an instance of the latter, it is pointed out that a piece of paper once folded in a certain manner will fold along the same lines the next time. And all users of sewing machines, or other delicate pieces of mechanism, know that as a machine or instrument is once "broken in" so will it tend to run thereafter. The same law is also observable in the ruse of musical instruments. Clothing or gloves form into creases according to the person using them, and these creases once formed will always be in effect, notwithstanding repeated pressings. Rivers and streams of water cut their courses through the land, and thereafter flow along the habit-course. The law is in operation everywhere.

I think, the above illustrations will help you to form the idea of the nature of habit, and will aid you in forming new mental paths, new mental creases. And, remember this always, the best (and one might say the only) way in which old habits may be removed is to form new habits to counteract and replace the old undesirable ones. Form new mental paths over which to travel, and the old ones will soon become less distinct and in time will practically fill up from disuse. Every time you travel over the path of the desirable mental habit, you make the path deeper and wider, and make it so much easier to travel it thereafter. This mental path-making is a very important thing, and I cannot urge upon you too strongly the injunction to start to work making the desirable mental paths over which you wish to travel. Practice, practice, practice, be a good path-maker.

THE FOLLOWING RULES WILL HELP YOU IN YOUR WORK IN FORMING NEW HABITS:

1. At the beginning of the formation of a new habit, put force into your expression of the action, thought, or characteristic. Remember that you are taking the first steps toward making the new mental path, and it is much harder at the first than it will be afterwards. Make the path as clear and deep as you can, at the start, so that you can see it readily the next time you wish to travel it.

2. Keep your attention firmly concentrated on the new path building, and keep your eyes and thoughts away from the old paths, lest you incline toward them. Forget all about the old paths, and concern yourself only with the new one that you are building.

3. Travel over your newly made path as often as possible. Make opportunities for doing so, without waiting for them to arise. The oftener you go over the new path, the sooner will it become an old, well-worn, easily traveled one. Think out plans for passing over it and using it, at the start.

4. Resist the temptation to travel over the older easier paths that you have been using in the past. Every time you resist a temptation, the stronger do you become, and the easier will it be for you to do so the next time. But every time you yield to the temptation, the easier does it become to yield again, and the more difficult does it become to resist the next time. You will have a fight on at the start, and this is the critical time. Prove your determination, persistency, and Will power now, right here at the start.

5. Be sure that you have mapped out the proper path—plan it out well, and see where it will lead you to—then go ahead without fear and without allowing yourself to doubt. "Place your hand upon the plow, and look not backward" Your goal is Financial Success—then make a good, deep, wide mental path leading straight to it.

Reuben Koikai
benkoikai4@gmail.com
+255 718 143 903

WHAT HAPPENED?

BUILD THE BEST YOU

The miracle power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance, under the promptings of a brave determined spirit.

Many motivational experts of today like to say that great people are made through different ways. I would argue the exact opposite. I believe we are all natural born great and best, but have been deprogrammed along the way.

As children, we were natural great, innovative, best, talented, curious and humble, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge, with an incredibly vivid imagination; we knew exactly what we wanted, were persistent and determined in getting what we wanted, and had the ability to motivate, inspire, and influence everyone around us to help us in accomplishing our mission. So why is this so difficult to do as adults? WHAT HAPPENED?

As children, over time, we got used to hearing, No, Don't, and Can't. No! Don't do this. Don't do that. You can't do this. You can't do that. No! Many of our parents told us to keep quiet and not disturb the adults by asking silly questions. This pattern continued into high school with our teachers telling us what we could do and couldn't do and what was possible. Then many of us got hit with the big one institutionalized formal education known as high school, college or university.

Unfortunately, the traditional educational system doesn't teach students how to become the best people they wanted to become; it teaches students how to becoaAme polite order takers for the corporate world. Instead of learning to become creative, independent, self-reliant, and think for themselves, most people learn how to obey and intelligently follow rules to keep the corporate machine humming.

Developing the best in you to live your highest life, then, requires a process of unlearning by self-remembering and self-honoring. Being an effective person again will require you to be brave and unlock the door to your inner attic, where your childhood dreams lie, going inside to the heart. Based on my over three years research in the area of human development and success, here are few easy steps you can take to awaken the genuine person in you and rekindle your passion for greatness.

Humility.

Anything grate starts with humility. To be a highly successful person, you must first humble yourself like a little child and be willing to learn from others. Be humble as a child, always curious, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge. For what is excellence but knowledge plus knowledge plus knowledge - always wanting to better yourself, always improving, always growing. When you are humble, you become genuinely interested in people because you want to learn from them. And because you want to learn and grow, you will be a far more effective listener, which is the #1 tool for growth.
 

Know your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats.

This is a useful key to gain access to self-knowledge, self-remembering, and self-honoring. Start by listing all your Strengths including your accomplishments. Then write down all your Weaknesses and what needs to be improved. Make sure to include any doubts, anxieties, fears, and worries that you may have. These are the demons and dragons guarding the door to your inner attic. By bringing them to conscious awareness you can begin to slay them. Then proceed by listing all the Opportunities you see available to you for using your strengths. Finally, write down all the Threats or obstacles that are currently blocking you or that you think you will encounter along the way to achieving your dreams.

Regardless of how busy you are, always take time to do what you love doing. Being an alive and vital person vitalizes others. When you are pursuing your passions, people around you cannot help but feel impassioned by your presence. This will make you a charismatic person. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, be it writing, acting, painting, drawing, photography, sports, reading, dancing, networking, or working on entrepreneurial ventures, set aside time every week, ideally two or three hours a day, to pursue these activities.

 Dream Big.

If you want to be larger than life, you need a dream that's larger than life. Small dreams won't serve you or anyone else. It takes the same amount of time to dream small than it does to dream big. So be Big and be Bold! Write down your One Biggest Dream. The one that excites you the most. Remember, don't be small and realistic; be bold and unrealistic! Go for the Gold, the Nobel, the highest you can possibly achieve in your field and life. After you have written down your dream, list every single reason why you CAN achieve your dream instead of worrying about why you can't.

Have Vision.

Without a vision, we perish (Even the Bible says this). If you can't see yourself winning that award and feel the tears of triumph streaming down your face, it's unlikely you will be able to lead yourself to victory. Visualize what it would be like accomplishing your dream. See it, smell it, taste it, hear it, feel it in your gut.

Perseverance.

Victory belongs to those who want it the most and stay in it the longest. Now that you have a dream, make sure you take consistent action every day. I recommend doing at least 5 things every day that will move you closer to your dream. This is very important

Honor Your Word.

Every time you break your word, you lose power of moving on. Successful and grate people keep their words and their promises. Keep the promises you promise yourself. You can accumulate all the things and riches in the world, but you only have one reputation in life. Your word is gold. Honor it.

Get a Mentor and a role model.

Find yourself a mentor. Preferably someone who has already achieved a high degree of success in your field (anything you do). Don't be afraid to ask, ask as many questions as you can. You've got nothing to lose. Reuben Koikai.blogspot.com is an excellent mentoring blog and a great resource for finding local mentoring articles. In addition to mentors, take time to study autobiographies of great people that you admire. Learn everything you can from their lives and model some of their successful behaviors. Learn from them, but don't be them.

 Be Yourself.

Use your relationships with other grate people and mentors and your research on great best people as models or reference points to work from, but never copy or imitate them like a parrot. Everyone has vastly different success styles. Be yourself, your best self, always competing against yourself and bettering yourself, and you will become a first rate YOU instead of a second rate somebody else.

Give. Finally, be a giver.

Great people are givers. By giving, you activate a universal law as sound as gravity life gives to the giver, and takes from the taker. The more you give, the more you get. If you want more love, respect, support, and compassion, give love, give respect, give support, and give compassion, Most of it GIVE TIME. Be a mentor to others. Give back to your community. As a great person, the only way to get what you want in life, is by helping enough people get what they want first, be a problem solver. Sir Winston Churchill once said, "We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Thank you for reading this.

Please subscribe, share and comment

Reuben Koikai

NEXT TIME YOU SEE A PROBLEM YOU THINK YOU CAN NOT SOLVE, THINK AGAIN

Adventures in Creative Thinking

How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem and that problem leads to a dead end? How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads. No options. No solutions. 

Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain large, unconquerable, and impregnable? When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you're hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.

But rejoice! There might be some hope yet!

With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.

First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.

Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.

Number one; May be the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.

Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.

Number two; Try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.

Number three; Try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.

Number four; Although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.

Number five; It pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.

Number six; Remember that old adage," two heads are better than one." That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you're talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours.

You don't have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.

Number seven; Be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.

Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver. 

So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.

Reuben Koikai

DO NOT BELIEVE AND EMBRACE YOUR NEGATIVE STORY AND LIFE STYLE

2018 UNLOCK YOUR SELF IMPROVEMENT POWER

Dear followers and readers of this page, When we look at a certain object, a painting for example and we won't be able to appreciate what's in it, what is painted and what else goes with it if the painting is just an inch away from our face. But if we try to take it a little further, we'll have a clearer vision of the whole art work.

We reach a point in our life when we are ready for change and a whole bunch of information that will help us unlock our self improvement power. Until then, something can be staring us right under our nose but we don't see it. The only time we think of unlocking our self improvement power is when everything got worst. Take the frog principle for example. 

Try placing Frog A in a pot of boiling water. What happens? He twerps! He jumps off! Why? Because he is not able to tolerate sudden change in his environment and the waters temperature. Then try Frog B: place him in a luke warm water, then turn the gas stove on. Wait til the water reaches a certain boiling point. Frog B then thinks Ooh! it's a bit warm in here!

People are like Frog B in general. Today, You may think someone hates you. Tomorrow, The different person walks up to you and tell you he hates you. You may stay the same and can't mind what his friends says.

We learn our lessons when we experience pain. We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough and tough. When do we realize that we need to change diets? When none of our jeans and shirts would fit us. When do we stop eating candies and chocolates? When all of our teeth has fallen off. When do we realize that we need to stop smoking? When our lungs have gone bad. When do we pray and ask for help? When we realize that we're going to die tomorrow.

The only time most of us ever learn about unlocking our self improvement power is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart. We think and feel this way because it is not easy to change. But change becomes more painful when we ignore it.

Change will happen, like it or hate it. At one point or another, we are all going to experience different turning points in our life and we are all going to eventually unlock our self improvement power not because the world says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realized its for our own good.

Happy people don't just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don't have to feel a tremendous heat before realizing the need for self improvement. Unlocking your self improvement power means unlocking yourself up in the cage of thought that it's just the way I am. It is such a poor excuse for people who fear and resist change. Most of us program our minds like computers. 

You repeatedly telling everyone that You don't have the guts to be around groups of people. You heard your mom, your dad, your sister, your teachers telling the same things about you to other people. Over the years, that is what you believed. You believed it's your story. And what happens? Every time a great crowd would troop over your house, in school, and in the community, you tends to step back, shy away and lock yourself up in a room. You didn't only believed in your story, you lived it. 

You now have to realize that you are not what you are in your story. Instead of having your story post around your face for everyone to remember, you have to have the spirit and show people I am an important person and I should be treated accordingly!

Self improvement may not be everybody's favorite word, but if we look at things in a different point of view, we might have greater chances of enjoying the whole process instead of counting the days until we are fully improved. Three sessions in a week at the gym would result to a healthier life, reading books instead of looking at porns will shape up a more profound knowledge, going out with friends and peers will help you take a step back from work and unwind. And just when you are enjoying the whole process of unlocking your self improvement power, you'll realize that you're beginning to take things light and become happy.

Thank you.

Happy new Year 2018.

TREAT EVERYBODY AS IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE

Treat each person you meet and work with, both at home, college and in the office, as though he or she is the most important person in the world.

When you treat people as if they are valuable and important, they will return the favorby treating you as if you are valuable and important as well. They will want to be associated with you, work for you and with you, buy from you, and introduce you to their friends.

You begin treating people like Important, unique, valuable and special by starting at home, with the members ofyour family. Remember, they are the most important people in your life. So when you start your daywell, first thing in the morning, by making the members of your family feel important and telling themthat you love them, you will be more positive, relaxed, and happier for the rest of the day.

Fully 85 percent of your success will be determined by how much people like and respect you,especially in what for a living (Business, Talents, Profession, Area of Expertise). Never miss an opportunity to treat people well. When you practice this each day for your life, and if you will make it your habit you will build up a character and you will see changes and improvements in your life, work, and income, reputation and fun base that will astonish you.  BE THE BEST.

Reuben Koikai
+255718143903
reubewill@gmail.com

SELECT THE PEOPLE TO FOLLOW

When you decide to be one of the best people in your field, look around you and identify the people who are already at the top. You have to know the following things from them.

• What characteristics do they have in common?

• How do they plan and organize their days?

• How do they dress?

• How do they walk, talk, and behave with other people?

• What books do they read?

• How do they spend their spare time?

• Who do they associate with?

• What courses have they taken?

• What audio programs do they listen to in their homes/cars?

These are just a few of the questions you should ask in order to find out what successful people aredoing that you might also need to do. After all, you can’t hit a target that you can’t see.

Your selection of the right role models can have an enormous impact on your future. Yourreference group is made of the people who you feel are “just like me.” Your natural tendency is toadopt the attitudes, styles of dress, opinions, and lifestyles of the people with whom you identify andassociate most of the time.

FOLLOW THE LEADERS, NOT THE FOLLOWERS.

Reuben Koikai.

CHANGE YOUR POINT OF VIEW

ENJOY YOUR LIFE

"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts, If you have placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?

In life, we are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimists view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimistic route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

SO WHY NURTURE AN OPTIMISTS POINT OF VIEW? AND WHY NOW?

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from societies.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife's disorder but also a teenager's disorder as well.

Here's how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

OPTIMISTS EXPECT THE BEST

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune it is the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won't say things will never get better, If I failed once, it will happen again and if I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

PEOPLE RESPOND POSITIVELY TO OPTIMISTS

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, OPTIMISTS GET TOUGHER

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

They persevere. They just don't give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

OPTIMISTS ARE HEALTHIER AND LIVE LONGER

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body's ability to fight disease.

Optimists health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors?
Why not be resilient?
Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don't just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?

THINGS YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT LEADERSHIP

Much has been written about leadership: rules, pointers, styles, and biographies of inspiring leaders throughout world history. But there are certain leadership ideas that we young emerging leaders, ourselves fail to recognize and realize.

Here is a short list of things you thought you knew about leadership.

1. LEADERS COME IN DIFFERENT FLAVORS.

There are different types of leaders and you will probably encounter more than one type in your lifetime. Formal leaders are those we elect into positions or offices such as the senators, congressmen, and presidents of the local clubs. Informal leaders or those we look up to by virtue of their wisdom and experience such as in the case of the elders of a tribe, or our grandparents; or by virtue of their expertise and contribution on a given field such, Academics issues, economic matters, social issues and Society in general. Both formal and informal leaders practice a combination of leadership styles.

These are some few point of vies about leadership styles and flavors.

1. Lewin's three basic leadership styles
i.   Authoritative,
ii.  Participative,
iii. Delegative

2. Likert's four leadership styles Exploitive

i.   Authoritative,
ii.  Benevolent authoritative,
iii. Consultative,
iv. Participative

3. Goleman's six emotional leadership styles
i.   Visionary,
ii.  Coaching,

iii. Affiliative,
iv. Democratic,
v.  Pacesetting,
vi. Commanding.

2. LEADERSHIP IS A PROCESS OF BECOMING.

Although certain people seem to be born with innate leadership qualities, without the right environment and exposure, they may fail to develop their full potential. So like learning how to ride a bicycle, you can also learn how to become a leader and hone your leadership abilities. Knowledge on leadership theories and skills may be formally gained by enrolling in leadership seminars, workshops, and conferences. Daily interactions with people provide the opportunity to observe and practice leadership theories. Together, formal and informal learning will help you gain leadership attitudes, gain leadership insights, and thus furthering the cycle of learning. You do not become a leader in one day and just stop. Life-long learning is important in becoming a good leader for each day brings new experiences that put your knowledge, skills, and attitude to a test.

3. LEADERSHIP STARTS WITH YOU.

The best way to develop leadership qualities is to apply it to your own life. As an adage goes action speaks louder than words. Leaders are always in the limelight. Keep in mind that your credibility as a leader depends much on your actions: your interaction with your family, friends, and co-workers; your way of managing your personal and organizational responsibilities; and even the way you talk with the newspaper vendor across the street. Repeated actions become habits. Habits in turn form a person's character. Steven Covey's book entitled 7 Habits of Highly Effective People provides good insights on how you can achieve personal leadership.

4. LEADERSHIP IS SHARED

Leadership is not the sole responsibility of one person, but rather a shared responsibility among members of an emerging team. A leader belongs to a group. Each member has responsibilities to fulfill. Formal leadership positions are merely added responsibilities aside from their responsibilities as members of the team. Effective leadership requires members to do their share of work. Starting as a mere group of individuals, members and leaders work towards the formation of an effective team. In this light, social interaction plays a major role in leadership. To learn how to work together requires a great deal of trust between and among leaders and members of an emerging team. Trust is built upon actions and not merely on words. When mutual respect exists, trust is fostered and confidence is built.

Now that you are reminded of these things, keep in mind that there are always ideas that we think we already know; concepts we take for granted, but are actually the most useful insights on leadership.

Thank you.